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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in
Jacob Black's InsaneJournal:
| Friday, August 14th, 2009 | |
| 1:07 pm | Bad news: I got a C on my math test I kicked a hole in the wall of the classroom on my way out and now I have to spend four Saturdays fixing it. Embry still isn't speaking to me. Good news: I got an A on my history test and a mark on the essay question that said "well thought out point." I beat my Dad at chinese checkers. Finally. Rebecca and I made about 5 dozen rice crispy squares. Who wants in? |
| Sunday, July 19th, 2009 | |
| 7:20 pm | Okay, so my Dad has apparently lost his mind. But he's old. It's to be expected. He's in a weirdly good mood today and made me eggs. And told me that I looked 'healthy.' He's been acting weird ever since the whole drama fest a few days ago, you know, patting me on the shoulder a lot and telling me I'm a good kid and he's lucky to have me. I thought for a bit he'd be taking me to the vet and having me put to sleep with the pep talks he kept trying to give me. Today he informed me that he wants to meet my new girlfriend. A few days ago he wasn't quite sure he wanted to meet her at all. This has apparently changed. I hope he doesn't embarrass me (but he will). Private to the Autobots: Rebecca, Seth, Leah and Rachel We're going to meet the Cullens, I imagine Bella and Edward are skipping this one, but I have no idea what their actual plan is. I'm supposed to phone them. In any case... Autobots roll out. Beware of approaching Decepticons. End Private to Rebecca, Seth, Leah and Rachel Private to Maria Oh holy fuck this is going to be the weirdest get together ever... End Private to Maria Private to Cullens (Maria and Bella included) and Jacob's Pack (you know, the fun pack-that still includes Rachel) only My Dad, my sisters, Seth, Leah and me are inviting ourselves over...It's some kind of important rite of passage I think. My family and pack meets her family...Etc...We like chocolate and my Dad is allergic to walnuts. Get Maria's dowry ready (Going rate is something like four calves, a pig and a few acres so I can build her a cottage). I'm kidding. But I do like presents. |
| Friday, July 17th, 2009 | |
| 10:33 am | Public I wish things had turned out differently. Private to self I don't know if what I did has caused more harm than good. I don't know if I'm supposed to issue some kind of formal apology to the rest of the pack, to the rest of my friends. It's been three days since I left, the rest of the pack has been told not to talk to me. I feel like I let them down. And to be honest I probably did, that's what I do. When I think about it, it wasn't that hard. It was just the right thing to do, I know that, and I'm standing by that decision. I'm disgustingly sick about the whole thing, but it boils down to the difference between right and wrong. It was wrong of Sam to do what he did, and I know it. I think everyone knows it, but I'm the only one it directly affected so it didn't matter too much. Leah and Seth are a couple of idiots, but what else were they going to do? Seth has a vampire fetish and Leah would rather be anywhere than with Sam Uley. My sister is sick, that kind of sick. I told her, she...Took it pretty well. Now we're just kind of waiting around. I won't lie, I'm glad. Because if anything it proves that it wasn't Maria's presence that we considered a threat. I'm guessing it's Bella that did it, which is funny and I should send her a thank you note. I haven't talked to Rachel, I want to. Things with her are hard, and they never used to be. And I'm pretty sure I've just made them even harder. I'm a jerk sometimes, but I honestly don't want to cause any problems with her and Paul. I know what it is like to have to choose between your family and the person that you love. Thinking back about it, I wish I'd never asked Bella to choose between Edward and me. You shouldn't have to choose between the people you care about. I haven't been over to see Bella, I haven't seen Maria either. I need to stay here with Becks for a while and keep an eye on Dad too. My Dad told me he was proud of me, he said he wasn't ready to accept a vampire for a daughter in law, but this was better than watching me waste away again. I feel this empty spot inside of me that came from being a part of something that mattered. I miss being a part of the pack so much its really annoying, but...When it comes down to right and wrong...There's no question that I'd do it again. School is kicking my ass, even more so now that I'm public enemy number one with my friends. I'm hanging out with Seth and the friends he has in his grade. I don't know what the Mothers were drinking in the year Seth was born, but they're all so cheerful. I don't know how I'm supposed to finish this year with everything that's happened. Leah and Rebecca are around to help, Maria helps too. But I hate being so far away from her for so many hours during the day. Anything could happen if I'm not there. Seth offered to skip a few classes and watch the house, I told him no. I was thinking of asking Leah to do it, but I don't want to put her in an awkward position. She came with me to get away from doing things she doesn't want to do, and to get away from Sam. I'm not going to ask her to protect my vampire girlfriend while I'm in school. I will ask Becks though, she's family and has to help! I'll play the kid brother card. I suppose I should make an effort to introduce her though, they might freak out if they see a strange werewolf stalking the house. This is a fucked up situation and I wish it hadn't come to this. End Private |
| Sunday, July 5th, 2009 | |
| 1:36 pm | |
| Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 | |
| 11:21 am | Private, except for Rebecca, Rachel and Leah So, I failed all my classes last year. Please don't tell anyone (Rach, I'm so not even kidding if you tell Paul I'll disown you). So I was just going to get the equivalency and call it a day. Two days into the school year, and two days of staying home while everyone else goes, I decided that it sucks. So Dad and I went to the school this morning, talked to my teachers and they gave me the run around and a shit load of work to catch up on if I want to finish the 11th and 10th grade this school year. They said I have to go early for catch up, and stay late for catch up, they'll let me take 11th grade classes as long as I don't fall behind. They lectured me about how I should have gone to summer school. I offered to take some tests to pass the 10th grade, they said no. I have to do the work, and they're making an "exception" even letting me do two grades at once rather than repeat the whole year and graduate late. I think that's all a little unreasonable. Dad won't stop smirking at me. So, if anyone wants to help me pass the 10th grade and the 11th grade all at the same time that would be awesome. I would really like to graduate on time without everyone knowing, I've done a pretty good job keeping it to myself so far, and despite the werewolf mind meld, I'd like to keep it that way. End Private to Jake's back up dancers Clearly you assholes couldn't survive the school year with out me. Don't worry, I'll be there tomorrow to hold your hand and make sure the big kids don't take your lunch money. |
| Thursday, June 18th, 2009 | |
| 12:01 pm | Filtered to those "in the know" as well. Cullens and La Push :) Okay EVERYONE..... This is your chance, public flogging, inappropriate comments, worries, concerns, screaming, yelling, typing in capslock, stupid cat macros, calling me names, anything you want to do, get it out of your system now. If you'd rather kick my ass in private drop me a note, I'm making a schedule. Peace -Jake |
| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | |
| 6:29 pm | Is this how it works?  |
| Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 | |
| 3:23 pm | In the past week or so a lot of my friends have asked me how my road trip to Canada was.  |
| Monday, April 20th, 2009 | |
| 7:53 pm | Well look at that, I woke up downright happy today. It's a nice day outside, Bella is nowhere NEAR Forks, let alone the entire state of Washington, I was on Embry's couch all night completing Gears of War on Insane Difficulty...Yeah that's right fool while you were sleeping like a wuss I fucking did it. COMMANDO ACHIEVEMENT? PWNED. As a side note, I hate mosquitos. |
| Thursday, April 16th, 2009 | |
| 12:53 am | Private So Bella got married...That was awkward. Rachel wants to move out already, that sure didn't last long. I guess there's no real point in playing happy families when that's not exactly how things are. She said she was moving thirty seconds away, but that also means thirty seconds away from Paul and the last place I want to be , especially in her own place where I can't boss anyone around, is where she is with Paul. It's bad enough here, I can only imagine what it would be like in her own place. He'd probably lock me out anyway. I told Rebecca the truth. I wonder how long until she wants to move out too. I can't really talk, I tried to run away, but I was only gone for a little over a month, no one even particularly missed me because I was just dragging everyone down all the time. Now I'm back and trying not to do that and people are insisting I 'get angry' and 'work out my emotions' what the hell do they think I was doing in the woods for a month? Sunbathing?! They were gone for a really long time, and they just got back, and this is so ridiculous Jacob shut up, if you aren't whining about one thing you're whining about another. GO BACK TO THE FOREST IDIOT. IT WAS QUIET THERE AT LEAST....Now you're talking to yourself...On paper. Or the internet. Or whatever. Charming. Dude you gotta get a life. I wonder if this is what crazy people feel like, just crazy fucking rambling all the time with no one to listen and no one to stop you from your crazy incessant rambling. I swear to God I am clocking like 120 words per minute right now, my computer teacher would be so pleased. Which reminds me, I don't think I'm going back to school in the fall, I know that sounds stupid, and why the hell not etc etc etc...Well for starters I'm stuck to this place. I can't actually go to college, so what is the point? I think the only reason anyone would stop me is so our drop out rate doesn't look so bad. I don't care. I'll ask Dad, I bet he won't make me go back. Bella...Bella got married. And it was awkward. But...It's over now I guess. Or it always was over, I don't know. There is something going on with the treaty when they get back, or maybe while they're gone. I dunno. I'm up to my ears in not caring about that damn treaty anymore. Sure I don't want them on our lands, but I really could give a crap if they bite her or not. I was a little bit of a dick about it before, I don't know. I suppose if I went and spoke up for her right to DIE if that's what she wants, then it might have some sway. That's how it usually goes. If someone objects and speaks up on behalf of someone else we can talk about it. I'd speak up for Bella. I just wish that it wasn't over something like this. I mean how stupid can a girl be? She's the dumbest smart kid I know. But again, that whole...Wishing someone would be happy bullshit that I can't seem to STOP HAVING. I'm just tired and cranky. And a little hungry. I think I'll go for a drive and get some food. End Private Man those mini-quiches were good...And that lobster/crab/seafood/scallop pasta extravaganza they had going on. People should get married more often. I take that back...Rich people should get married more often. Say something like that around here and someone is gonna get hitched and I'll show up to a god damn salmon bake in the dirt. NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE SALMON BAKES IN THE DIRT...I'm quitting while I'm ahead. I'll leave you with this: Food. I approve of most of it. -Jake |
| Sunday, April 12th, 2009 | |
| 1:04 pm | This is my RSVP. I don't have time to get a gift, so don't expect one. I'll try and be there on time, but I have something else tomorrow that is way more important, so yeah. I guess I can swing by or something, I mean I may as well. I'm bringing a guest. Seth, do you need a ride? Private to Rebecca You are so my plus one so don't even think about doing something else tomorrow. I know, I'm an idiot, you don't even have to tell me. And you can't get out of it unless you find me some smokin' hot chick to take that will just fall over me like I'm some kind of golden God. |
| Saturday, April 4th, 2009 | |
| 4:26 pm | 001-I could sleep for a year Dad got cable. My sisters are home. I need a job. Private to Paul When are you going to show up here and tell me we need to talk? If you weren't planning on it, I suggest you do. I'm free at 5:30. |
| Thursday, March 26th, 2009 | |
| 5:58 pm | |